New York Baseball

[BullNBear52]

MOON
BIG PAPI.


Let's face it.

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Big Papi has been a whining, complaining thorn in the New York Yankees' side for a long time.

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Along the way, he's gone on and on about a lack of respect, and generally made an ass of himself.

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Big Papi benefited from the fact that the Mitchell Report on the use of steroids in baseball was written by a Red Sox fan. Big Papi's nuts are the size of two shriveled green peas but, somehow, he's gotten off scot free.

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Well, it's payback time. In February, 2016, Big Papi was quoted in the New York Post as saying:

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“You know what I want most of all? I would love it if the fans at Yankee Stadium gave me a standing ovation.’’

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We have another idea.



Fifty thousand moons.

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Yes, moons! We're not talking about celestial bodies. We're talking about the idiotic, immature, sophomoric and utterly crude display of hostility that is commonly known as "mooning." It requires two physical movements.


1.A fan turns his/her posterior to the person or thing being mooned.



2.He/she drops trow for five to ten seconds, signifying the span of time it takes Big Papi to run to first base.


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Fifty thousand full moons.

Imagine David Ortiz's great surprise as his Yankee Stadium tribute abruptly turns into an avalanche of red-cheeked butts. (In a perfect world, each bun would have a hypodermic needle poking from it, commemorating Papi's rise to greatness.) Imagine the moment, caught for posterity - or "posterior-ity" - the greatest mass mooning since - well - Moonies!

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All we need is your fanny and five seconds.

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It will be the greatest historical sign of disrespect since Goliath decided not to wear a cup. It will be the greatest cultural prank
since the Vikings decided to name a giant chunk of ice "Greenland." It will be the greatest insult upon humanity since bellbottom pants.

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Give us your fanny and five.

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Yes, five measily seconds of your strategically open backside - your tush, rump, keister, dumpster, can, party barge, crack, coin slot, culo, melody hole, caboose ... your Kardashian!

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Imagine 50,000 moons ... greeting Papi like a field of poppies. He will never be free. It will haunt him forever. It will become a bigger memory than any of his hits against us.

Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell anybody. Tell everybody. It's time for Yankee fans to say toot-a-loo to David Ortiz, with a group gesture that will be inscribed into the annals - and anals - of history!


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GIVE US YOUR FANNY AND FIVE!
http://www.moonbigpapi.com/