The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to
offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer
who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1, 000 for every
inch measured in a straight line between any Two points
in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points
would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured
from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured
at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72, 000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and
asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands
to his toes. He walked out with $96, 000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly
old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured
replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the
previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with
him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to
'drop 'em, 'which he did. The medical officer
placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie
and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly
exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?'' The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam''.
