A Sloth was reporting he was robbed by two turtles, when the officer asked for the details on the scene of the crime the sloth replied, "I'm not quite sure...It all happened so fast.."
I found an email in my junk folder
from Match.com.
The subject is “Dear Match Customer, Unlock Your Account”....
No idea why they sent it - I don't have an account there.
Heck, I don't even use matches...
The chink and the greek
had restaurants across the street from each other. Everyday, the greek would call out "Wong, what' the special", and Wong would reply "flied lice". The greek would laugh and go inside. So Wong got a tape and practiced and practiced until one day the greek said "Wong, what's the special?" and Wong replied, "Fried rice, you gleek plick".
The Book Store
So I was walking through the mall, and went into a Muslim Bookshop.
The clerk asked if he could help me, so I asked for a copy of the Australian Immigration Policy Book.
The Clerk said “Fuck off, Get Out and Stay Out.”
I said, “Yes that’s the one!”
Woman are like used cars... Cheap to pick up,
Expensive to maintain...
I'd like to be drunk with power...
but I've never even been buzzed. I'm like the designated driver of power.
Narcissism is such an unattractive quality.
It looks good on me, though.
I watched a scary documentary last night...
about that time in the 80's when the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man attacked New York
Got my invitation to Lady Gaga's
wedding reception. I can choose between beef or chicken. Not for the meal, that's the dress code.
If a serial killer commits suicide, you can console his family by saying, "Hey, at least he died doing what he loved"
