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Alias Born 08/29/2003

Re: None

Tuesday, 08/19/2014 10:00:28 AM

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 10:00:28 AM

Post# of 32035
When you send food back to the kitchen, you're
basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please?"

Let's walk barefoot on grass!"
-People who have never walked a dog.

In my experience, the quickest way to escape
Jury Duty?
As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"

Found my son and his girlfriend naked in his room.
Sex-ed is so advanced. Now, they also give homework!

I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so
I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second.

I'm going to nap so hard today, my pillow Is
going to need a cigarette when I'm done with it.

If you're ever on death row, request Denny's for
your last meal so you can live an extra year waiting on your order.

The worst time to find out your parents are dead
is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon.

Five second rule? Pfft.
What's the point of having an immune system if you're not going to use it?

Her: Are you okay?
Me: Yea, Great! This isn't even my blood!

Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we should go out sometime…
Me flirting: So do you like bread?

Doctor: How's your headache?
Patient: She's out of town.

"Cu Later!"
- a guy who wants some Copper, but not right now.














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