Any Good Jokes?

[SHORENUFFSTUFF]

I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

You know you're ugly when
it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

I'm the kind of guy who stops
the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

I saw a baby with a shirt that said, "I'm what happened in Vegas"

Dating a single mother
is like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

My vacuum cleaner broke.
I put a Dallas Cowboys sticker on it, and now it sucks again.

Summer is officially coming to an end
and you know what that means... all you half naked ladies are going to have to find a personality.

Yawning is your bodies way of saying 20% battery remaining.

Any salad can be a Caesar salad
if you stab it enough.

Lazy People Fact #5812672793
You were too lazy to read that number