A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
When the cannibal showed up late
to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.
Don't trust people that do acupuncture,
they're back stabbers.
A hole has been found in the nudist
camp wall. The police are looking into it.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
I was going to buy a book on phobias,
but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
I was going to look for my missing watch,
but I could never find the time.
I think Santa has riverfront property
in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year.
When a clock is hungry
it goes back four seconds.
What's the definition of a will?
(It's a dead giveaway).
The dead batteries were given
out free of charge.
