Fie on Runeclerk and the other ADVFN sadists who refuse to put the faucet out of its misery. We will build a big, beautiful cryptowall to keep them away, and we will make them pay for it.

Mr. Meatloaf, in the name of all that is right and proper, we beseech you to cease and desist propping up that ill-conceived, nano-diblet spout with your sub-two bit donations and allow it to trickle itself into oblivion. Or Bolivia.

Death with dignity for the faucet!
Death With Dignity For The Faucet!!

Invasion of the Bitcoin Snatchers: https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/03/09/bitcoin-mining-energy-prices-smalltown-feature-217230

Clem's upcoming announcement that one of the final 138 coins is Magic Coin exchangeable for $100K and empowers the holder to delete and restore posts at will should give this program the kick-start it needs.

Faucet is sub-200 coins. Clem is AWOL. Faucetheads must turn to St. Meatloaf of Boogerville, the patron saint of horribly ill-conceived cryptocurrency spigots, to hit the Ihub petty cash box for new funding.

Clem here is the update you requested:

In US currency, the Grand Total of coins awarded to the "Top PlusoneCoin Posters" is 66 cents. (Moreover, we estimate that 75-85 percent of those coins were self-awarded.)

Your program sucks, Clem. It even sucks in comparison to other things that suck.

That was an excellent post, Mr. Satan. I have awarded you all of the Plus1 coins in my wallet.

Sniff. That was beautiful. Here on Ihub, it is known as the Lament of the Female Impersonator. https://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/msgsearchbymember.aspx?searchID=368375&srchyr=2017&SearchStr=empty

Please Note: Thursday, March 1, is "Award All Your Plus1 Coins to Yourself Day" on Ihub. You may empty your wallet into a single post or split them up but, all your coins should be awarded to your own posts. Clem and I thank you for your cooperation and support.

At the risk of being helpful, I will offer this: The "PLUS1 / BTC" number in your Satoshi link is the relative value of one Plus1 Coin to one BTC. Using the rough numbers $.05 for Plus1 and $10000 for BTC, it takes 200,000 Plus1 coins to equal one BTC, so .000005 Plus1 = 1 BTC.

Unless, of course, all of that is wrong which is quite possible.

That was uncalled for.

2001- 2007 Baffled Boomers
2007-2013 Generation Stupid
2013- present Moronials

Today's Fun Factoid: PlusOneCoin, the social media cryptocurrency, has 27 followers on Twitter. https://twitter.com/PlusOneCoin

Drip, drip, drip. "The faucet is funded by donations from the ADVFN community"; i.e. -- the success of the Plus 1 program depends on the generosity of Ihub users.

Gee willikers, what could possibly go wrong with that? A quote from the famous scatological philosopher, Churak of Prague, answers the question: "The average Ihubber can squeeze a nickel so tightly that the buffalo poops."

Within two weeks, the number of Plus 1 coins in the fountain has been cut in half despite the fact that 90% of all claims paid out are for one-one hundredth of a coin. Think on that. What a bunch of pikers.

If the Clem does not kick in another 100 bucks, the faucet might run dry before month's end. Help us, Obi-Wan Clemster.

I have good news, MoonPie. Your stay at Club Scofflaw has been extended, so you have extra time for your remedial civic studies. Here's your new roomie. I believe you two know each other. https://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/profilea.aspx?user=658176

TO: Clement Hadrian Chambers, ADVFN HQ
FROM: Beelzebub, OBE
RE: PlusOneCoins Update

Currently, the Plus1 faucet holds the US Dollar equivalent of $93.80, a veritable treasure chest by anyone's standards. Every 12 hours, Ihub users -- after a simple verification process that requires them to distinguish bus fenders from those belonging to a 1953 Studebaker -- can claim coinage from the faucet, 90 percent of whom will get .01 coins equal to $.0006.

As you well know, largesse comes easily to Ihubbers. Accordingly, some of the claimed coinage will be donated back to the faucet in amounts equaling $.000000006 or even more.

However, the most exciting application for the coins is to use them or percentages thereof to pay tribute to superior posts on the site. Already there are posts distinguished by awards equaling $.00006 and higher.

Although there is some concern that "pumpers" could band together and award undeserving posts absurd cryptocurrency valuations of as much as 12 cents, but Sith Lord Dave will take appropriate action if necessary.

Further updates will follow. For now, hearty congratulations on this superb initiative which represents nothing less than a paradigm shift in the use of decimal places.

The Jailhouse respects an individual's right to be stupid. You must, however, be stupid quietly. Enough from you.

ClemCoins. Blech.

On this site, whales are mythological creatures whose arrival is eagerly anticipated by the dimwitted and ethically challenged. But like Godot, they never arrive.

Post of the Day (and maybe the month): #msg-137814057

"I've had a few drinks, and I'm in the mood to bash." (#msg-137763121)

Ahem. I am tempted to say that stupid and drunk is another bad combination, but that would be disingenuous. It is after all one of the great combos that humanity has brought forth upon this big blue marble, right up there with high crimes and misdemeanors, drawing and quartering, and the biathlon (frozen snot rules).

But stupid, drunk and posting? That's a losing trifecta, always has been and always will be. Enjoy your time out. Chug some Pedialyte.

"He’s a career criminal, convicted of fraud, under SEC investigation, and...is the epitome of a scumbag." Here on Ihub, we have another term for such evil swine. We call them "Most Followed Members."

I'm too thin-skinned, pedantic and all around snotty to admit to it being a mistake but will reluctantly admit it sure does look like one.

I think that "copulation of whales" has serious potential to become an Ihub catchphrase for major inventors taking positions in a stock. "Crooked MMs are keeping the price down so far, but after the copulation of whales...."

There are similarities, but the Ihub version includes Feats of Stupidity and Reverse Split Miracles.

It is the official position of Ihub that freebies are awarded the same rights as rutabagas and dust bunnies; i.e. -- not many, so regretfully, their participation might be rather limited.

Now that that's out of the way, we now return you to the regularly scheduled venom and bile. On that note, Ihub needs an annual "Airing of Grievances" Day. January 1 works for me.

For a violation this egregious, someone must be held accountable. Boot halbroke1.

"I can shit on you and you wouldnt even know it was me." Behold the master of disguise: https://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/profilea.aspx?user=646134

Well then I guess it's goodbye. Don't forget to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Hearken, Clement Chambers, Grand Poobah of the Loyal Disorder of ADVFN!

The following I-carol is being sent to you by Churak the Knavish for the express purpose of irritating you once more. Hit it, boys!

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Ihubbers sent to me
Twelve flippers dumping,
Eleven pumpers pumping,
Ten bashers bashing,
Nine shorts bid whacking,
Eight multi-baggas,
Seven true longs buying,
Six IRs lying,
Five boards to spam!
Four pinching bollies,
Three FTDs,
Two gagged TAs,
And a trial for L2 that was free!

(It's starting to grow on you, isn't it, Clem?)

A sagacious observation that should serve as an inspiration to us all:

"it would probably best if I hub change the rules to wear moderators" We tried that. People complained that they were itchy and their colors were not as shown in our catalogue. Here's just one example:

"I ordered a mick to wear as a cummerbund with my wedding tuxedo. It was wrinkled, very faded out and I got a huge rash from it."

Okay, one more.

"I ordered a No Moderator to wear as a boa scarf to the office Christmas party. Not a good idea. People kept commiserating with me over my unsightly goiter and now I have a painful inflammation on my left clavicle."

What horrific glitch in the system allowed you to befoul my Jailhouse with 13 of your idiocies in one day? (Now, that is a personal attack.)

Let's see. Thirteen posts divided by 3/day = 4+ days worth. Is that right? If so, please speak not until the 7th. Thank you for your compliance.

I see no evidence of that.

Commence initiation: Meghan, bring me the head of halbroke1.

Just the other day, Queen Shelly and I were slamming shots of Pappy Van Winkle when she opined, "The Jailhouse needs more Captain Kidd quotes" and walla, this gem appears. And not only is it a Captain Kidd quote, it is a Captain Kidd quote containing the word spleen. Love, LOVE spleen quotes.

Well done, misérable, well done. I vote for early parole.

You are in the Jailhouse until August, 2020. All three of your posts have been removed. You are banned from posting on this board.

But it is our sincerest wish that none of this detracts from your Ihub experience.

Dave isn't an actual person, just an alias that the rest of us use when irregularity is making us cranky. So I will field your request. No.

There's an IRP named Harry
In the Jailhouse he must tarry
Paid not his fee
So here he'll be
Of mourners there are nary.

http://investorshub.advfn.com/boards/profilea.aspx?user=82434